Six Ways To Eliminate Your “Inner Critic”

By Marcia Sirota

You might be one of those people walking around today with an extremely negative voice in your head. It’s the voice that tells you what you “should” and “shouldn’t” do; it makes you feel stupid, small, awkward and inept; blaming you for the things that go wrong in your life and refusing to give you credit for your accomplishments.

It’s a miserable voice that causes a lot of difficulties. It creates shame, self-doubt and sometimes even emotional paralysis. I call it the “inner critic,” as it arises out of a child’s automatic internalization of all the critical messages she took in as she was growing up, from her parents, relatives, teachers, coaches, clergy or the media.

Your inner critic is as destructive today as the negative messages were hurtful to you when you were younger. If, in your childhood, most of the adults around you were supportive and affirming, the inner critic in your head will be fairly insignificant, but if the majority of the adults you knew were critical toward you, or if one or two grown-ups really put you down, you probably have a powerful inner critic.

When we’re unaware of a psychological issue, we have no power to resolve it. It follows then, that the first step in getting rid of this hyper-critical voice within you is to recognize that it’s there, and that there’s a big difference between your usual inner monologue and the negative voice of the inner critic.

The second step is to understand that it’s not an integral part of your true self; it’s “other.” That is, it’s a bit like a parasite. As opposed to the physical type of parasite, this one resides in your psyche, feeds off your negative emotions and releases toxins into your mind. Like a physical parasite, however, you can and should get rid of it before it causes you any more harm.

The third step toward eliminating the inner critic is recognizing that it’s neither necessary for your survival nor in any way conducive to your well-being. Once you’re an adult, you don’t need any parent-figure to tell you how to take care of yourself or live your life, and it’s obvious that you won’t benefit from an inner voice that demands perfection, criticizes your every move, fills you with anxiety and burdens you with guilt.

OM Times Magazine » syndicated