How to Get Back in the Driver’s Seat of Your Relationships

 By Colette Baron-Reid

Who is in the driver’s seat of your love life and relationships? Your higher self or your fears? In my over 22 years working as an intuitive counselor, I can safely say that at least 90% of my conversations have involved love. Relationships are, after all, an intrinsic part of our human experience. They are one of the most important aspects of our lives and help us evolve on our path. Yet, for many of us, love is also incredibly frustrating. It’s something that we all want, yet for many of us it remains confusingly elusive. We’re either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that we already have. But, it doesn’t have to be this way! Love doesn’t have to be something you long for but never seem to quite master. You really can completely transform your love life. I not only speak from my professional experience teaching my clients how to radically shift their relationships, but I’m a living example. After years of seemingly hopeless relationship struggles, I’ve been able to create the authentic relationship I’d always wanted. You really truly can do it! So, what’s the secret to experiencing real love? You have to look at WHO is in the driver’s seat. Is it your Goblin or your higher self? I’ve often talked about the Goblin, the character I created to embody the wounded ego we all have. The Goblin is a metaphor to represent what we have disowned in ourselves. He is made of shadow and holds our fears, our low self-worth, and all the things we don’t want to admit we are as a result of the misinformation we received about ourselves. The Goblin will wreak havoc on your relationships if you let him, but he’s not a horrible villain. He’s actually trying to protect you by repeating false ideas about yourself and others to keep you in what he believes is the truth. He is the wounded little girl or boy who is just trying to get by and doesn’t know any better. The Goblin creeps up on all of us at times. For example, if we get annoyed when someone is controlling, we may be disowning a part of ourselves that is controlling. Or, when we can’t stand neediness in our partner, it might be that we’re ashamed of being needy. When we’re unconscious of this part of ourselves, we end up handing over the wheel to the Goblin to drive our life. Since he can’t have a relationship with anyone but another Goblin, we end up repeating the old patterns and drawing in the same types of partners. When it comes to our relationships, the Goblin can take on many different motivator archetypes and be hard to recognize. To help you name your inner saboteur and enable you to recognize him in others, I’ve coined 12 Goblin archetypes. You will find that you strongly relate to one of these as your main Goblin and then two to three more as smaller tricksters.

OM Times Magazine » syndicated