Embracing Self-Forgiveness
by Deborah King
The idea of forgiveness sounds like such a simple concept in its theory. Yet while you may have no problem embracing the process of forgiving others, it is often much more difficult to fully embrace the process of forgiving yourself. We do not have control over everything that happens in our lives, but one thing we can absolutely take full command of is our reaction. You can choose to be a victim and let things ‘happen to you’, you can choose to be on the opposite spectrum and be the aggressor and push back, or you can find that happy median in the middle where you accept that things sometimes happen and move forward, learning the lessons in stride.
Wouldn’t our lives be a lot easier if all of us could react all the time in that latter way?
Knowing full well that isn’t always the case, one thing we tend to bring upon ourselves that we can all work towards overcoming is the process of beating ourselves up over our reaction or lack of action. This self-hatred and anger towards oneself is yet another detrimental reaction (likely following an already bad reaction) that is only contributing negativity to the initial problem. So let’s start by making the conscious decision that forgiving yourself is paramount to moving forward and healing. We can choose to embrace self-forgiveness and nurture our souls, or we can be angry about it.
Here are some helpful tips to keep you in check with forgiving yourself:
Stop lying and live your truth.
You will find it is much easier to heal and move forward if you are honest with yourself. Whether it is past or current issues that are causing you harm and distress, if you look at the problem honestly and from a true objective standpoint, you will be lightening the load of self-forgiveness instantly. One cannot forgive oneself without truly being honest first. I go into this process of healing in depth in my book Truth Heals (Hay House, 2009).
Don’t let your emotions hold you hostage!
Take a few steps back and breathe deeply. Try to find some clarity in the situation and not let your emotions rule your next reaction. You do not want to inflict harm on yourself in any way, and even emotional harm can do long-term damage to your inner self.
Approach a solution from a point of clarity.
An immediate reaction to a reaction is not always the best practice. Our best decisions come from a place of mental and spiritual clarity. If you feel you are lacking in clarity, try meditating twice daily and make that part of your daily routine. You will find that meditation will help you view your issues from a rational, calm frame of mind where you can start the process of forgiving yourself. You should make sure you learn meditation from a proper instructor who can guide you in-person or online. The Deborah King Center offers resources on meditation which at: http://www.deborahkingcenter.com/what-is-meditation/
Let it go.
This is often the hardest part of the process of self-forgiveness: letting the anger and negativity go. This is an action required on your part and a difficult step to take. It is, however, essential that you make the choice to let go of the pain, anger, resentment, self-hatred…only then can you find your inner peace and harmony.
Deborah King is a spiritual teacher and master healer whose New York Times Best-Seller, Be Your Own Shaman, takes you on a one-of-a-kind journey into the powerful esoteric world of healing.
Deborah travels worldwide, helping thousands of people transform their lives through her experiential workshops. Her online training program, 21st Century Energy Healing, attracts those who want to learn to transform themselves or others. She also hosts a popular weekly Hay House radio show.
Connect with Deborah at http://www.deborahkingcenter.com
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