Shifting Perspectives: Being the Neutral Observer
By Lynn Zambrano
The facts, without the emotions that are often attached to a situation, we can enter the role of neutral observer.
A neutral observer can examine a situation from the detached space of not being invested emotionally in the outcome. This overview allows us to decide if our stance in the situation is going to benefit us. We can then view each perspective in the situation and understand.
There is a difference in reacting and relating.
-When we react to something it says that there is a belief system in play. It is often necessary to evaluate that belief system. Is it negative or does it support us in a beneficial way? -When we relate we are connecting with others. There are times we also need to reflect on how and why we relate. Is it healthy? Does it support us in a positive way? Is this a situation we need to explore, are we reacting legitimately? Are we relating and the other participants reacting?
When we see just the facts we gain understanding of the situation and can choose how we respond. It is impossible to be a neutral observer all the time. We all have thoughts and beliefs that weave into story. What is important is developing neutral observer as a skill for our toolbox.
When we suspend our judgment, we no longer have prejudice in the situation. This frees us to choose another way to respond and participate.
Remember a fact is a fact, and is neutral.
Thoughts are varied and in a constant flow, so there are many possible perspectives. It’s about what we choose to think and believe. All perspectives are valid, because we are individuals having our own experiences. The question is does the perspective you are using, serve your highest and best good? If the answer is no, then shift your perspective. Reexamine the thoughts and beliefs that are the bases for your perspective, and choose a more positive set. Choose a set that serves you. This opens up pathways of increased satisfaction and happiness. When we choose to look at something differently, we change nothing.
Facts are facts, what we are changing is our perspective in order to increase the flow of what nourishes us. It is then important to remind ourselves to remain neutral to others. They will have different perspectives. Do not fall into the trap of judging, there is no need. With the understanding that we are all unique and equal, comes the wisdom of no longer needing to judge and no longer caring if others judge you.
Neutrality will free you of conflict (which only drains energy) and gives you flexibility. The flexibility to bend or change as needed in response to life’s situations.